I was emailed this a few years ago. ...

RECALL NOTICE

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central components of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms are as follows:
[a] Loss of direction Amnesia of origin
[e] Selfish, or violent behaviour [d] Lack of peace and joy
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness [h] Idolatry Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect is providing a factory authorized repair and service Free Of Charge to correct this SIN defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas around the world is:

P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
[a] Love Peace [d] Patience [e] Kindness
[f] Goodness [g] Faithfulness [h] Gentleness Self control

Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturers made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost.

Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the premises!
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids Any Manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to the dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER:
The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven, so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important Recall Notice!